Don’t you sometimes wish that someone would tell you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and while they are at it, tell you what exactly “it” is? And don’t you especially feel like this when it seems your way is not working?

How often have you searched for the right way to do something…the right way to change careers, find a significant other, create success, win the race, or achieve happiness?

How successful have you been in finding this “right” path?

I know I haven’t been very successful. That’s not to say I didn’t try! I was an A+ student at following the prescribed method for happiness and success. You see, I was one of those goody-goody kids. I always followed directions. It was as if my life depended on me NOT breaking the rules and always doing the RIGHT thing. Give me the lessons and I became their master. I was very perceptive. Even when I wasn’t being lectured about the right way to live, I intuitively sensed what it was and then followed it.

Always looking for the “right” way means you give up your own power over what your life is like. What’s important to you then matters less than what others have said is best for you. When you allow yourself to become second, you allow yourself to become unhappy, unfulfilled, and lost.

I had let myself become second.

My story goes like this…

I didn’t like the bank where I was working so I figured I wasn’t at the right company. I decided it was time to move on and I got myself a job as a management consultant. Now I was happy. Or at least I thought I was until I started to feel restless again. “Alright, it’s time to go!” I said to myself. This became a cycle I repeated for many years. I was pretty confused since everything looked great on paper. Wasn’t I well on my way to having everything I wanted? Didn’t my jobs give me the success that other people only wished for?

After too many job changes to count, I finally woke up. I saw that I would never be happy….NEVER…if I ignored what mattered to me. I avoided making my preferences a priority because it scared me. It was not how I was used to acting. I had never learned to exercise my “trust yourself” muscle so even thinking about following my own path felt like running a marathon when I had only gotten up to walking briskly around the block. So I had to take it in baby steps. First, I started being honest about what I didn’t like. Not just blanket statements like, “I hate this job! It’s awful.” Instead, I learned that I don’t like working on technology. I do like using it though. I learned that I didn’t like working for a corporation on non-people related projects. I learned I didn’t like cubicles and the structure of a 9-6 day five days a week.

Wow, I never realized this before! This was the first time I stopped complaining and started to identify what wasn’t working. It may seem simple and obvious but it’s getting our arms around the easy stuff that builds our muscles. All of these “don’t wants” started me on the path of identifying what I did want.

So what happened next?

Well my “trust yourself” muscle was getting much stronger. I was able to point out things I actually wanted to do in all areas of my life including moving back to NY, running a marathon, and working for myself as a coach.

It’s not that I began to disregard the advice I was getting on how to do this or do that. I coupled the advice with my own beliefs about what was true and right. Having a good job as a business analyst was the right thing to do. It just wasn’t the right thing for ME to do. Living in the suburbs of Baltimore in a brand new beautiful townhouse with three bedrooms and four bathrooms that I owned was the right thing to do. It just wasn’t the right thing for ME to do.

I had been afraid to do it my way because I assumed it meant not having enough money, always struggling, being unhappy and feeling unsuccessful. Well, funny isn’t it? I had done it the right way in the first place and that’s what my life was like anyway.

There’s no such thing as the right way to go about having the life you want. There’s only your way. Yet, following your way requires you to believe that you have your best interest at heart. I finally saw that the more I trusted myself the easier life became. I actually could make choices about what I wanted my life to be like and find that they ended up being good for me and even good for people around me.

Maybe doing it my way was the only way.

Now it’s your turn.

Begin to exercise your “trust yourself” muscle so that you can see that doing it your way is the best way. Focus on the baby steps you can take this week so that you are doing what is right for you.

Break the routine that has been established for you by seeing that you can choose what is right for your life each and everyday. From here, the larger life decisions will naturally follow!

© 2007 Segaric Coaching Inc. Annemarie Segaric is a respected career change coach, motivational speaker, and the author of the ebook, 107 Tips for Changing Your Career While Still Paying the Bills. Ready to switch careers and don’t know where to begin? Visit www.segaric.com and download your own career change toolkit today!